What a deal! A blank check from Yahweh the Sovereign
God of Hosts, the Creator of the Universes.
That's what Solomon is promised in his night-time vision of the Holy One
of Israel.
"What
shall I give you? Just tell me what you
want”, asks God.
Stop and think about that for a minute. Consider the possibilities. What would you or
I ask if we were to receive the same offer from our Creator? “
"O God, please let me win the
lottery”, “Please let me pass my algebra test.” “Just let my kid get into college!”, “Oh
Lord, won’t ‘ya buy me a Mercedes-Benz?”
Hopefully we’d ask for something a
little more altruistic. Something easy,
like-- I don’t know-- peace in the Middle East ? A cure for AIDS? A zillion dollars for world
hunger relief? A new roof for the
church?
Of course the truth is that our
God is not a genie in a bottle. None of
us is likely to get three wishes-- not even one. It is fun, and maybe a bit insightful to
consider what we’d ask for if we were ever to receive a celestial blank check.
That’s what Solomon was offered.
Anything.
“What shall I give you? Tell
me.” Solomon could have chosen
long-life, riches, the defeat of his enemies-- even a though Mercedes-Benzes
hadn’t yet been invented, I’m sure that Solomon could have had one if he’d
known to ask for it.
Instead, Solomon asked nothing for himself. He asked
for a gift that would make him a better ruler of his people, and a better
servant of his God.
“I’m
not experienced at this leadership business, Lord. Here I am,
suddenly king of your chosen people-- more people than I can count. Now give me a heart with skill to listen, so
that I can govern them with justice and
determine wrong and right. For without you, who could possibly govern your
people?”
And we read that God was pleased
with Solomon for this self-less prayer. And for his willingness to pass over
long-life, riches, fame, and Mercedes-Benzes-- for his willingness to put the
needs of his people before his own gain, Solomon was granted by God, long
life, riches, and fame. His willingness
to serve brought Solomon Divine favor beyond his wildest dreams.
And in response to his prayer,
Solomon was granted the ability to understand,
to discern, to listen. And in
response to his prayer Solomon was granted the gift of wisdom by the Creator--
“a heart so wise and understanding, like none before or since.”
I am fascinated by the young king’s
request. Solomon was supposed to be the
wisest man in Israel
Because, notice-- Solomon didn’t
specifically ask God for wisdom. In
different translations of the Bible
Solomon’s request reads differently.
“An understanding mind”, “A
discerning mind”, or my favorite-- “A heart with skill to listen”
Ultimately, as Solomon must have
somehow figured out, listening is crucial-- not only to good governing, but
even more so in order to attain true wisdom. Listening is not all there is not
all there is to wisdom. But true wisdom
requires first and foremost a listening heart.
If you and I are wise at all it is
only because we have learned to listen-- to our Maker in prayer and meditation
and Scripture-- to the transmitted wisdom
of the culture through books and art and drama and music-- and lastly to
the hearts and souls of others through honest and open encounter with them.
Some people, like Solomon (and no
doubt Jesus), just have the gift of
listening hearts. Those are the kids that the other kids want to confide in.
They are the ones who ought to grow up to be pastors or counselors or teachers.
Sometimes they do.
But even if they become auto
mechanics or CPAs or housewives they are
still the people who everybody tells their troubles to over a cup of coffee.
They are still the ones who know all the secrets in town. And they are the ones
who never breathe a word. For them, as
for Solomon, empathic, active listening is a gift that over time they have made
into an art.
Fortunately, listening is also a
skill that the rest of us can learn.
Like all skills, we have to practice in order for it for it to work.
Like all skills, unless we keep practicing it, we’ll lose it. And until we learn to practice it, we will
never grow wise.
True communication between human
beings requires listening. And listening requires a conscious effort on our
part. We must truly want to hear the
message the other person is trying to convey. We have to be willing to open
ourselves to the other person’s point of view. So often we only think we are
communicating. The reality is that all
too often we talk past each other rather than listen to one another.
Carl Rogers said that properly done,
listening is the greatest gift one person can give to another. And he added that most people are afraid to
listen to one another because they are afraid that they will be changed. .
And that’s true. Change is the risk of
listening. Why? Because true listening
is always a two-way process-- encountering one another without preconceptions
or prejudices and sharing in trust and mutuality. It means opening ourselves to
what that other child of God brings to the encounter. In order to really listen
to someone else, we’ve got to be willing to meet them as they truly are, come
to know them, understand them and accept them. And when the process is
two-way—we come to love one another as people and as fellow children of God.
Once you and I come to know and
accept and serve and love someone-- we aren’t quite the same afterwards. No doubt that’s what happened to each of the
disciples when they heard Jesus’ invitation to “follow me” and did so. We open ourselves to the other and touch
them, and they’ve touch us.
That’s
the moment when you and I have the opportunity for real spiritual and emotional
growth. That’s when deep personal transformation and inner healing occurs. And that’s
why change can be so hard. It’s not easy
or comfortable to open ourselves up that much. That’s what the best therapy and
counseling is always about.
And all that is why true human wisdom is so
terribly rare and precious.
But unless we can do that, take the
risk and open up and listen and understand and accept and serve and love-- then
we’ll never experience the gifts that others bring to us-- their humor, their insights, their point of view, their
pain, their joys.
And we’ll never be able to receive their love, their ministry to us as
they open themselves and trust us to
insights and humor and point of view and pain and joy as well. And we’ll
remain just as we are, locked into our own head full of preconceptions and pain and prejudices.
We don’t become a mirror of one
another. In order to remain true to our own selves we will at times disagree.
We don’t necessarily have to accept the other person’s opinions or point of
view as our own. We don’t necessarily have to accept their actions. But if we are loving, we will come to accept
them.—warts and all.
If we are wise we will realize--
before we criticize, before we judge, or even express our own position— that
it’s best to make the honest effort to listen with care and concern to that
other person.
Listening is serving as well as
loving.. It’s not always easy or even always comfortable. But unless
we are willing to make the effort to open ourselves, all we’re really doing in our conversations with others-- all we’re
really doing in our relationships, is
waiting for that other dumb-bell to shut up and finish blathering so that we
can talk.
We,
after all, have the truth. We after all, do in fact have the
correct opinion. We, after all, can solve the problem. We can fix up everyone else’s life, and while
we are doing so, we can illustrate it all with a wonderful anecdote from our
own wealth of vast experience that will illumine the superiority of our own
point of view.
As the old saying goes, “those
people who think that they know everything are incredibly irritating to those
of us who do.” And it’s absolutely true.
There is no human problem that could not be solved. If only everybody would simply take my advice and do it. As a friend of
mine (who is a professional counselor) puts it—take my advice, I’m not going to
be using it.
One commentator wrote that we
are in the midst of a wisdom famine in our world today. We are bombarded by
input and information on all sides. But has it brought us any closer to God?
Are we any humbler as a people? Or as a church? Have we learned anything about
the way that life really works?
Who after all, wants to be wise
anymore? Who wants to listen? Our
culture urges us to be cool, to be rich, to be right, to be popular, to be in
control. Those are easy. But wise? That’s harsh, dude! Who wants that? Who
wants to bother to listen?
But the truth is, wisdom and hearts
with skill to listen are in desperately short supply in this world of ours.
Have the Israelis really ever really listened to the plight of the
Palestinians? Did the Unionist and the Republican Northern Irish ever really
listen to one another for all those years? Did the Russians really listen to
the cries of the Chechnians? The Hindus to the Muslims? The Hutu to the Tutsi? The Shi’ites to the
Sunnis? O either side to the Kurds? Has the Western world really listened to
the legitimate aspirations of the Arab peoples?
It's only in a vacuum of understanding and
tolerance and justice that a Hitler or a Stalin or a Sadaam or a Bin-Laden can
arise. It’s only in a vacuum of wisdom that we resort to police actions,
pre-emptive wars, civil wars, ethnic
cleansing, no-fly zones, surgical strikes, and armed confrontations. Isaac Asimov wrote that violence is the last
refuge of the incompetent. He might well have added-- and of the unwise.
Tragically,
listening hearts are in just as short supply within the church of Jesus Christ
There’s the story of a modern
Robinson Crusoe, rescued from his desert island. He showed his rescuers around.
There’s my living quarters-- the hut where I sleep. There’s my kitchen--the hut
where I cook. There’s my church-- the hut where I go to pray every Sunday.
What’s that other hut over on the
hill? He was asked.
That’s the other church—I don’t go
there anymore. He replied.
I have to wonder how many tears
could be spared, how much pain could be
avoided, how many would not be driven away if people in
churches, people in their homes, people in the workplace, people in the classroom, people in government circles, people in
relationships would base their interactions upon respect for the other, and by
resolving to listen and understand before speaking-- much less acting!
And if you and I can learn to listen
to one another—another gift comes.
When
we truly encounter one another in acceptance,
honesty and love—when we are vulnerable and listening, that’s the moment
when you and I can most clearly hear God
speaking to us—in the needs and hopes and prayers and the love of one another.
We need to learn to hear the voice
of our God. We can learn to use those same listening skills in our spiritual
disciplines. Our Maker yearns to be in dialogue with us. That’s where Bible
study and devotional reading and prayer and (dare I say it?) meditation come
in.
Oh,
many of us can pray readily enough. “God, give me strength. God, do something
about poverty. God, bless my country and my family and my friends and by the
way God—you know what to do with all those other sinners.”
We even can confess our sins. “I’m
sorry I said that about Susie to Sally God—please forgive me. Sorry I yelled at
the kids Jesus, I know they didn’t really deserve it. Sorry I goofed up, Lord. I’ll try to do
better next time.” And we don’t— not until the next time.
So many of our prayers are asking
God or telling God what to do. We place our orders and try to clear our
consciences. It’s a one-sided
conversation. We talk and talk to God and before we give God a chance to reply,
we’ve run through our “Amens” we’re back on our feet and ready to head out into
the world to sin again.
You and I need to shut up in your
prayers. I invite you to learn to listen—just
be still and know that I am God.
Listen to see if God has anything to say to you. God does—I promise you. I
invite you sometime to just be there with your Maker.
No special techniques, no mantras,
just be in the Divine Presence. Relax. Clear your mind of day to day clutter
and listen. See what thoughts and
insights and possibilities float across your mind. Enjoy the silence and know
that God is there—in the silence. Maybe ought to spend as much of our prayer
time in meditative listening as we do in intercession and confession. That’s
the source of true wisdom. The psalmist tells us this morning that “reverence for the Lord is the beginning of
wisdom.”
And friends, this blood-soaked
and tear-stained world desperately needs wisdom—the human wisdom of Solomon,
the Divine Wisdom of God, even the humble wisdom that the people of God— you
and I-- can bring to it. This broken planet desperately needs to learn how to
listen-- to hear the cries of the oppressed, the tears of the neighbor in need,
the words of the lost and the lonely and the hurting, the brothers and sisters
of Jesus Christ in this world.
Lord, give us listening hearts--
that we may become wise-- and learn to love.
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